Image sourced from Pinterest
I want to start by saying, if you’re on a post about what to wear to a funeral, I am super aware that this isn’t a fun thing to be researching.
Whether you need this information for yourself or for someone close to you, I’m deeply sorry for what you’re going through. Attending a funeral is hard enough as it is, and figuring out what to wear only makes it more difficult. Mindsets have shifted over the years, and different types of funerals call for different dress codes.
We’ll break down some of the most common dress expectations, as well as what to wear to each. My biggest piece of advice when you’re not sure what to wear (and nothing has really been suggested) is that you opt for dark colors like black or navy, and err on the side of modest—and yes, kind of boring.
A funeral is about the person whose life you’re celebrating, and you want to be comfortable, respectful, and out of the spotlight. I’m all for showing your personality and dressing in a way that makes you feel good, but for your own comfort, it often feels best to blend in. You can still feel chic and put-together, of course!
So let’s get into funeral outfit ideas, and what’s best to wear for different occasions. I’m sending you a big fu*king hug!
Wearing Black to a Funeral
Should you wear black to a funeral? It’s a question that comes up more often as the years go on. What was once the expected color for funerals is not necessarily the go-to at all funerals nowadays.
Some families will request that you wear a specific color (which we’ll discuss later), while others have no preference for what you wear to a funeral.
That being said, black is still the most common color worn to Western funerals. Some other cultures have different viewpoints and color preferences, so it’s always smart to check! In instances where you’re unsure, black is still the safest option. Funerals are somber occasions, and bright colors or the wrong type of clothing can unintentionally signal carelessness (even if you don’t mean to).
Formal vs. Informal Funerals
You’ll also want to think about the formality of the event. If it’s at a church or place of worship, or a luxury or more formal event, it’s best to choose a look that fits that. This means more conservative formal dresses, pantsuits, skirts, or pants and blouses.
Even for more casual events hosted at a home or restaurant, for instance, it’s wise to dress your best. In essence, skip jeans, short skirts and dresses, low-cut tops, sneakers, stiletto heels, and athletic wear, no matter the type of funeral. It’s also best to avoid bright, flashy colors as well, unless the family asks you to wear them. Black is best, but navy and gray are acceptable, too.
I’ve pulled together some dark-colored options that will help you get dressed for a funeral, so it can be the last thing you need to stress about.
Wearing Color to a Funeral
In some cases, people will request that you wear bright colors, or a specific color that the person you’re celebrating loved. These occasions call for bolder shades, and I recommend following their request. While you can fall back on typical funeral attire, you’ll feel like you stand out a little too much if you arrive wearing black and everyone else shows up in purple, blue, or another bold tone, for instance.
Be conscious of what you wear and get as close as you can to the brief for the dress code. Sometimes families will request a specific color, a style of dress, or some will even have T-shirts printed. Listen closely and be there to support them as best as you can by going along with what means most to them.
Below are a few color options in different shades, depending on what they request you to wear.
What to Wear to a Celebration of Life
A celebration of life can differ from a funeral. Sometimes, families will request lighter colors or bright hues (often those found at weddings and other formal events). Other times, a celebration of life will still require black and other dark colors. Celebrations of life can range from casual to formal, so I always recommend reading the invitation closely and asking questions about the dress code if you’re unsure. You might find that chinos, slacks, or jeans are appropriate, or you might learn that the family prefers suits and dresses.
If it is one where lighter colors are requested, I suggest muted colors, light neutral tones, or pastels. Bright, vibrant colors and neon tones are a no-go unless they specifically ask for them. I’ve put a few options to look at below for inspiration or adding to your closet if it’s a celebration of life that doesn’t ask for black clothing.
Tips on Dressing for a Funeral
Here are a few of my best tips for putting together an outfit that is appropriate for a funeral, as well as some final pieces to shop for if you’re missing something for your attire.
- Choose dark colors. Black is the most common color worn to funerals, and is oftentimes the best bet when you’re unsure of the dress code. You can also opt for navy, charcoal gray, or dark brown as alternatives.
- Dress more conservatively. Funeral attire is historically more modest and conservative. It’s better to choose higher necklines, longer skirts and pants, and dressier closed-toe shoes with a mid-size heel. If it’s helpful, consider the cuts, silhouettes, and lengths you’d wear to a standard corporate office. Your style is completely your own and important, but for these occasions, it’s always best to err on the side of modesty.
- Avoid flashy and bright. Unless it’s requested that you wear a bright color or something bold, avoid vibrant hues and anything with sparkles, metallic colors, sequins, or animal print. It’s better to blend in with the rest of the attendees (and you won’t feel awkward in something that stands out!).
- Bring layers. Sometimes funerals happen outside, or both inside and out. Even if it’s in the summer, it’s a good idea to bring a high-neck, long-sleeve cardigan or blazer. It might get chilly, and you’ll be prepared if you’re entering a church or place of worship. A wool coat, nicer jacket, or black raincoat is always a good idea if the weather is colder or drizzly. Don’t forget to pack a few tissues in your pocket or handbag.
- Invest in quality. Funerals bring up so many emotions, and I highly recommend having an outfit or two you can turn to for these occasions. This means you don’t have to think about it when one comes up, and you already have a look ready to go, so you can spend your time grieving, caring for yourself and others, and can lean on a reliable set of clothes that you know fits most funeral dress codes.
- Don’t be afraid to ask. If the invitation states nothing about the dress code and you don’t get much from the location of the funeral, it never hurts to ask someone close to the family. While I wouldn’t reach out to those directly impacted, I’d suggest asking a family member or friend who is also attending.
- Respect the dress code. I know I don’t need to say this, but just as a gentle reminder. Even if you really dislike dressing formally, or if you’re not a fan of the color purple, if a family requests specific attire, it’s important to follow their wishes. This shows respect and love for them and the person who has died. It’s temporary and will ensure you and everyone around you feel comfortable and supported.
Again, I’m sending you the biggest f*cking hug!
